It was his day…

…his wedding day. Our second son, third child, is now a married man. We gained a daughter and two little granddaughters on May 9, 2015. It was a great day.

Parker beamed at the sight of his bride walking toward him, toward their future as a family. He beamed, and my heart felt full. It was his day!

Kristin was a beautiful bride and she makes my son smile. I like that. I want him to smile, to be happy. I want him to love and be loved. I pray for them the abundant life that God has planned for them. I pray they will always follow His way, never their own.

Their wedding was a wonderful affair, outdoors with the sun shining on their vows and all of our dreams. It was elegant simplicity at its best. While the wedding was beautiful to behold, their focus is on their marriage. That’s good…just so good.

I have been married to my husband for almost 37 years and our wedding wasn’t a wedding at all – just a ceremony of commitment. Still, even without the bells and whistles (and great expense), our marriage has withstood the test of time -and many ups and downs. The commitment held.

It was, of course, a bittersweet day. We all missed our oldest son, Stuart. His presence is always missed, always leaves a gap in our moments. Parker never imagined that he would get married without his big brother standing beside him as best man. He chose not to have anyone else take that job, so Stuart was standing there anyway. No, we didn’t see him with our eyes, but with our hearts.

As Parker’s bride walked toward him, I could just imagine Stuart’s big smile and an elbow to Parker’s ribs for snagging such a hottie! 😉

Parker had an engraved item of Stuart’s in his pocket right next to his heart that day. He held his brother close during his special day.

Parker and Kristin had a “Food Truck” serve their guests after the ceremony. It was a sweet surprise to see a menu item to honor Stuart. Almost everyone ordered “Stuart’s Chicken and Waffles!” It was a blessing to hear his name over and over again as people placed their order.

Since our loss, it takes extra effort to be joyful and to not make everything be about Stuart. It just does. I was cognizant of that fact, and tried my best to let this be Parker’s day, as it should be. I knew it would be hard to not focus on that loss. It’s still so fresh and the pain is overwhelming, the loss tremendous for us all. Given this, I tried to focus on being the mother of the groom and let all my “otherness” (daughter, mom to all the others, grandmother, wife, friend, etc.) be set aside. I wanted him to have his day.

The wedding dress was magnificent, the ceremony beautiful, the cake delicious, and the bride and groom were glowing with love and hope for the future. Family and friends gathered to witness the joining of their hearts and their lives. We were there to behold the beginning of a family.

It was a great day…

It was his day…