Growing up, I knew I wanted to be a mom. I knew I would have many children and that adoption would be in the mix. I am thankful that God has blessed me with six children and thirteen grands. Time has been a thief – my babies grew too fast. I have been a great mom! I have been a terrible mom! I’ve been everything in between! There have been days full of successes and laughter and days of failures and weeping.
There are no guarantees in this life. There can be (read, will be) troubles and sadness even if you do your absolute best. Sometimes, your best isn’t good enough. Don’t be discouraged though, because sometimes your worst isn’t as bad as it could be either.
I am thankful for the mercy and grace I’ve been given through Christ. Without it, I would have folded into my imperfections and sin a long time ago. He is my refuge and my strength. He hides me beneath His wings and His faithfulness is my shield. He is my all in all. He has given me the gift of motherhood and for that I am so very blessed.
I wish I could say that I have always honored Him in my decisions and in my daily walk. I can’t. I have been selfish and self-serving. I have placed my husband and children above Him at times and I have fallen asleep while in the middle of praying. I have slipped on the slippery slope and nearly drowned in problems of my own making. I have simply been human.
Being a mom is to put your very heart out in front of you and know that it may be broken. It’s to know that you will feel it expanding with pride, hope, and amazing possibility. It is to know that you may possibly experience grief that is beyond your comprehension. Being a mom makes you vulnerable to all life has to offer. It’s a reminder of our humanity, our need for our Savior, and true love.
I was a child myself when I became a mother. I had no idea of the joys that awaited me. I could have never foreseen the paths that my life would take – the highest peaks of the mountains and the lows in the valleys. The journey has been lovely beyond my imaginings. Motherhood was my dream and my hope and I am grateful for the beautiful life I have had with my children. They are the answers to my prayers. They are the dreams I dreamed.
As a mother, you long to protect your children from the hurts and hardships that will surely come. You can’t. It’s that simple. You will try and you will try again, but they will feel the hurts and cry the tears. It will grow them into the people God intended them to be. There will be love and there will be loss, give and take, highs and lows. There will good choices, as well as poor decisions that could have been avoided. There will be “if only ” and “what if”. There will be you, the mom, always there to hold them, cheer for them, and pray for them.
Praying for them is an honor and it will be the one thing that brings you through the night at times. In the darkest night of your soul – prayer will be your beacon. Calling out to God when you can do nothing yourself will be the anchor for your soul.
To be a child of God, forgiven and saved, is the best gift one can receive. The blessing of being called “mom” is the gift He has given me to live life abundantly. I am blessed among women.